First Goodbyes

Today was my last day in Berlin. My family threw a goodbye party, inviting family, neighbors, and friends to wish me goodbye and reminisce on the year. Gifts were given and speeches were made, but I didn't have to say goodbye to them today, that comes tomorrow.

But today was my last day with my friends. It was also the Germany vs. Spain game. At the same time, Germany's time in the World Cup ended and so did my time in Germany. My friends and I walked through the dark city to the train station, where they waited for my train with me. As my train was announced over the loudspeaker, my heart stopped.

Indeed, a year had passed. And as much as you want to deny it, this is goodbye. For a long time. We cried, and I don't think I've ever felt such real-loving hugs as I felt tonight. Hard hugs that try to stop time, but fail, and yet hold on longer. They continually pressed the button to open the train door, so that we could hold a few seconds longer of a tear filled look goodbye and last second kisses on the cheek.

I found surprising refuge in a group of soccer fans going home. College kids who saw me crying and made me laugh and walked me home, even through my deep sadness. They all hugged me goodbye (something that after 5 minutes of knowing someone doesn't usually occur in Germany), but I know they knew thats what I needed. And still need.

Tomorrow I say goodbye to my host family. Something I don't even want to imagine right now.

Even though they won't read this, I'd sincerely like to thank those people here that took me under their wing such as Pitty, Herr Schuttler, Frau Doktor Schussel, and Steffi. I'd like to thank my Grandparents for giving out their love to a complete stranger as if I was their own grandchild, and...and a million others. I thank you all. And though I never thought it would happen, I've fallen in love for this country and this life.

I don't know how to be a good writer when I'm upset. Or have a nice ending. Instead I'll leave off saying the thought of sleeping right now is hard. I don't want to loose even one of those last moments.